


Elfroot

by Twilighthawke



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dragons, Elfroot, Gen, Platonic Relationships, Qunlat, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-03-13
Packaged: 2018-03-17 15:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3535112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilighthawke/pseuds/Twilighthawke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inquisitor and Co. Fight a dragon off the Storm Coast. Several elfroot potions later...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Elfroot

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this whole thing springs from the idea I had that maybe health potions are slightly-to-moderately alcoholic. This isn't even sort of canon, but I thought it would be interesting to investigate.

Iron Bull bellowed something in Qunlat and laughed heartily. His axe imbedded in the skull of the Vinsomer, his foot planted on its nose. Erica eyed the last elfroot potion thoughtfully. The dragon had turned out to be immune to electrical attacks and her left-hand blade had an electricity rune on it. It had been a very long fight. Dorian sat down next to her, right in the mud, white coat be damned.

“Contemplating the color?” Dorian stretched out his legs beside her. “It clashes with your hair quite frankly.” Erica looked at the mage sideways.

“How many of these did you drink?” She asked.

“Oh I don’t know, two maybe?” Dorian scratched his head. Unsurprising, since Dorian’s job was to stay back from the fighting and shield the rest of them.

“And I had maybe three,” Erica turned her attention back to the bottle in her hand. “So if I walked up that hill over there,” She pointed back the way they had come. “With just under 15 of these…” She trailed off meaningfully.

They both looked at Iron Bull who was still celebrating loudly.

“He was just chewed on by a dragon for half an hour.” Dorian offered.

“Is it even healthy to ingest that many?!” Erica exclaimed.

“We don’t know how many he actually drank darling,” Dorian reasoned. “Cole was right up there with-“ He cut himself off. They looked around, but the ghostly boy was nowhere in sight.

“Andraste’s kickerweasels that is a thousand times worse,” Erica breathed. “Cole!” She called.

“I feel fuzzy.” Cole, appearing suddenly as he often did, only this time he was on his back and he was staring at his splayed hands in front of him.

“Oh Cole,” Erica almost laughed.

“I feel like champagne,” Cole said in a faraway voice. Farther away than normal anyway. “Bubbles bubbling away.” He fluttered his fingers.

“Cole old chap,” Dorian tried to claim his attention. “How many potions have you drunk?”

“Have I turned into a bubble?” Cole asked the sky. “I feel like I’m about to pop.”

“Bull!” Erica shouted at the Qunari.

“Yes Boss?” Iron Bull was making rude gestures to the dragon’s corpse.

“If you like, we can come back with a portraitist and we can capture the likeness. Right now would you just come over here?” She demanded, somewhat testily.

“I don’t understand skirts,” Cole mused. “You can’t put two on and make trousers.” He furrowed his brows. “Rude.”

“Oh come now Inquisitor,” Dorian was smirking. “He’s obviously not in any danger.”

“Who isn’t?” Iron Bull asked drawing alongside the mage.

“The poor lad had a bit too much elfroot potion,” Dorian indicated the inebriated Cole. “How many did you drink?”

“Four,” Iron Bull snorted. “But I’m bigger than he is.”

“If I had three, and Dorian had two, and Bull had four…” Erica had to do the numbers on her fingers. “And we have one left over.” She looked a little green.

They all looked at Cole, who was making spit bubbles in his mouth. Iron Bull let out a low whistle.

“Five is a lot for someone as little as him.” He blew air out his cheeks.

“How Alcoholic are they?” Erica asked. “I’ve never had too many in the field. The idea is sort of _not_ to get hit.”

“Alcoholic enough apparently.” Dorian snorted a laugh. “Oh relax, he isn’t going to die from a little elfroot intoxication.” Erica didn’t look convinced.

“Bull, I know you have the thing with demons but-“Erica pleaded, but Iron Bull cut her off.

“Yeah, yeah boss.” He reached down and with greater care than Erica thought possible, the Qunari slung Cole over his massive shoulder. “I got him. But if he horks on my-“He wouldn’t finish that sentence as Cole emptied his stomach’s contents on the ground.

A flurry of activity then. Checking to make sure Cole wasn’t actually going to heave up something important, making sure Iron Bull didn’t get any sick on him, coaxing Iron Bull to pick the youth back up. They were finally off ten minutes later.

“You’re mothering the boy,” Dorian chastised Erica as they got on the boat that would take them off the Dragon’s tiny island. “Careful, or I might tell Cullen that you’d make a great mother one day.” He teased.

“Don’t go putting ideas into his head.” Erica blushed but the color drained from her face when another thought hit her.

“If _you_ hork in the boat I’m swimming back.” Iron Bull gripped the sides and scooted away from her at speed.

“No, no…” Erica tried to reassure him. “It’s just…” She bit her bottom lip and looked out to sea.

“What?” Dorian pressed, never one for a cliff hanger.

“What am I going to tell Solas?” Erica rubbed her temples, her eyes gone wide.

At the bottom of the boat, Cole burped.


End file.
